Saturday, 8 February 2014

I'm back. With the Inflatable Hospital Bed!!!

Ok so I'm back. Again. Again.

I'm sick of venting writing incredible statements on Facebook and need to blurt more out so the blog is back. Yeah. ( I think I need a theme song here....yeah, yeah the blog is back.... Ok maybe not)

So it's been some months since I dribbled  published incredible pieces of writing so I'll try and keep it brief.

I do look like this whilst writing, I assure you......

The past few months have included some hospital time, two new knees, an awkward moment with the surgeon, the family Christmas, attracting more weirdos ( the is a theme with these weirdos) and of course perhaps a possible house move!  I know, you've read all about that before. And before. And before that too.

Anyway, I now have two new knees.  Last year was an incredibly painful one, suffering rather badly with osteoarthritis.  Of course, not doing things by halves, both knees had zero cartilage left and was bone on bone.  An interesting party trick but got more and more awkward as the year went on when I kept collapsing.....without a drink.

Of course my health cover was useless so I had to rob a bank to pay for the surgery/ hospital stay.  Now I have travelled a little and stayed in some different places, but I have never knowingly spent $1000 per night on accommodation.  Well that was what I had to pay for the hospital stay and let's just say that although the care was very good, for that much I expected a bloody king size bed, room service that wasn't cold sandwiches and a full body massage daily.

Well that didn't happen.

But I did have a rather awkward moment with my surgeon.  He is a great fellow, who told me he didn't go into medicine to make money but to 'fix' people.  After checking we were talking about knees, I booked him in.  unfortunately I wasn't very brave whilst waiting to go into the actual surgical theatre so I had both the anathestist and the anathestist nurse have to hold my hands whilst we were waiting.

I then thought that they inflated an air bed around me to move me on to the theatre bed, but I later found out that I was obviously as high as a kite and no, there were no air beds in the surgery.

Something like this.....

Waking up in ICU, I was trying to work out what happened.  The nurses were fabulous and even made me a sandwich, which of course was the last thing I wanted.  I actually think that sandwich is plastic and they just wheel it out to every patient upon arrival in ICU cos who on earth wants to eat after three and a half hours of surgery.

The next patient arrived in ICU and then proceeded to projectile vomit all over the place, with one of the nurses calling out "oh giddy up big fella, that's enough of that". That quote was verified by the ICU nurse later.

I was laying there trying to work out what time it was when my lovely surgeon came in to check on me.  And then the awkward moment occurred.

Still being completely high as a kite  under the affects of the anaesthetics I wanted to hold my hand out to shake his hand to say yeah thanks for ripping my legs apart, scraping off the bones and inserting some foreign matter into my knees. However, my arms didn't lift as high as I thought so instead I grabbed his hand in what would commonly be known as a loving gesture, and then continued to squeeze his hand so hard that he told me if I didn't stop he would never be able to perform surgery again.

So anyway, he happily took his family to find Santa in Lapland over the Christmas break, courtesy of my two shonky knees.

But I wouldn't have it any other way.


Lisa xox

p.s.  If you really loved liked this post, come back, there'll be more!!!!  And tell your friends :-)

No comments :

Post a Comment