Saturday, 31 December 2011

A Picture tells a Thousand Words (here's 3.5 million)

Happy New Years Eve everyone. No doubt you are making your long list of resolutions that will no doubt be broken by around 1pm tomorrow - oh come on, truth hurts.

I could ramble on here and give you my list, and then smugly refer to it this time in 2012 and surmise about how unreal I am as I lost weight, gained money, rode horses and wished for world peace (oh sorry, have that confused with my Ms World Speech).

So instead, I am going to give you what I hope is a bit of a laugh for whenever and wherever you are reading this.

Yes, the camping photos. As they say, every picture tells a thousand words, stand by for 3.5 million words!!!!

Our wonderful tarp 'spare' floor

He did a lot of this and she did most of that

View from the kitchen window

It's not much, but it's home!!!

And now we know why the tarp goes over the top!!!

Training for London 2012 in the blow up kayak event

The Neighbourhood...

Can you guess which one is ours???

Not much, but it's home (no really, it's not much!!!)

Seafood dinner on our last night - aren't they cute!!!!

And after we packed up, thinking there would be more room in the car.....

......there wasn't!!!!!!

So from my family to yours, we hope that 2012 is a year filled with whatever you want, and more!!!
We are still hoping for the caravan!!!!!

Wednesday, 28 December 2011

Can You Spare a Dollar????

Stop what you are doing!

Go on stop!! Well, actually don't because technically that would mean you would stop reading this hilariously funny and witty blog.

But I think I finally know where my life is headed!!!!!

I have found what I can do for work, and where we could live, basically within five seconds of each other.

It will combine so many of my talents, so it is a perfect match (where is greg Evans and Debbie whats'her'name when you neeed them!!!)

So it is all in the little village of Burrawang in The Highlands. Now, Burrawang is one of the few villages we haven't lived in here, although it did look like we were going to live in a great place there this time last year but, as usual, the owners decided to sell.

I really love Burrawang as it is a gorgeous little village with a great atmosphere, not to mention a great pub.

But, as I have been surfing the 'net' tonight....

Yes, I have gone a little blonder, thanks for noticing

I have discovered the perfect business/job and a nice lil shack as well

Of course, there is a slight problem, but just take a look at this

Just imagine my fairy lights out the front here

First the job...

How cool would it be to run this. The Burrawang General Store. It would combine a couple of my favourite things, coffee and chatting. Oh, did I mention it also has a liquor licence????

Inside the very cool Burrawang General Store

And the house...
It comes with a lovely three bedroom cottage right next door, which let me tell you, we would be very happy in.

Is that Lisa's famous Banana and Pecan Bread in the oven there???

I have been doing a small bit of baking to take to the family Christmas gathering so apparently I do make a mean banana and pecan bread, and Georgia is pretty good on the rocky road - both white chocolate and milk choc.

And the Senior Sergeant is thinking of producing his world famous 'Sam's Secret Sauce' which is his own secret herbs and spices (except there are no spices) tartare sauce - perfect with his beer battered fish and chips, or with some fresh seafood. The applause for this sauce on Chrissy Day was deafening.

I may need a wee bit of help on the coffee machine but I can definitely make the shssshhhing noise it makes, and I am a mean hand at doing the dishes.

See, the blonder hair is working a treat

So, I did mention there is a slight problem

They have suggested (WTF???) about $1.5 million.

Now, personally, I actually think that is not too shabby. Well, from looking at it over and over on the internet.

But, yes, the problem is I don't have $1.5 m.  I don't have $150 000. I think I may have $150 so I am more than happy to put that in, if someone else could help me with the zero's. So, really, I am only asking for some zero's which means I am not asking for very much at all. Just a few zero's.

So if anyone out there has a few zero's to spare, please leave me your details and let's do lunch...

I know the best spot!!!!

Hope the car gets thrown in on the deal


Lisa xox

p.s. Oh, did I mention that Dad ended up in hospital on Boxing Day - I don 't know they can technically relate heart trouble to my banana bread directly

p.p.s  Maybe if I ask 1.5 million people to give me a dollar - I could do it - what do you think?????

Monday, 26 December 2011

Births Deaths and Marriages Computer Error

So Christmas has been and gone.


All the frenetic shopping, cooking, cleaning, sending cards, ensuring you see 'friends' before Christmas (why, oh why, I don't understand this - if you don't see them before Chrissy does that mean your friendship expires and you can never see them again), driving long distances to see relatives you only see every few years (or at funerals), not opening the bills from credit card agencies till March (or is that just me???)

Actually, I think I only managed to do about one of those on the list - never mind, although the mail is piling up :)

I actually love Christmas although I don't know why but it comes around faster and faster every year.
And I find myself saying -"Oh, it just doesn't feel like Christmas" and then all of a sudden it does and I make us all sit down and watch the Christmas Carols and cry at every news story and say - it is just so much worse at Christmas. And yes, I am turning 107 at my next birthday.

Part of My Christmas attire

But, I have found the solution.

Just go away the week leading up to Christmas.
It's fantastic.

Yes, it does mean you have to be organsied with your Chrsitmas shopping - but just tell yourself that there was a mistake at Births, Deaths and Marriages in Jerusalem about 2011 years ago and Jesus was actually born on Decemember 16.

That way, you do all the frantic things on the 15th, then everything is done and you just pack your tent and spare tarpaulin floors and off you go to be at one with nature (or at least, at one with your tent, a cute little coffee shop, a pool and a beach at your front yard, and oh so lovely clean amenities).

Of course, it does make it difficult if you are actually hosting Christmas lunch/dinner at your place but just do what I do and suggest another relative has it (although there is a slight downside to this especially when it means you then drive for four hours on Xmas Day for lunch, but it was worth it - Thanks Rob and Kim)

So, I hope you all had a lovely Christmas and that if you recieved any presents - that you love them.
However, I would like an explanation from certain family members as to why I was inundated with cookbooks.

Anyway, the final camp blog post will be coming shortly, I just can't find the plug in all these tarps to connect the camera to the computer.

But at least I can cook a lovely meal!!

Hoping you all had a lovely Christmas

My two Christmas Angels

Lisa xox

Saturday, 24 December 2011

A Slight Interruption to Your Viewing

I have wondered and wondered about writing this post.

It is not the culmination of our camping adventure - that is still too come!!!

This is just mainly for me I guess.

Christmas is a time of year which can be tough for many. The kid's Dad and I have a ritual - whoever has the kids for Christmas invites the other parent to Christmas Eve dinner and stays the night so we still share Christmas morning together.

No, we are not great or anything like that. I guess we both love our kids and neither of us could imagine not seeing them for Christmas. It does get easier I admit, although other family members find it hard to cope with.

I must admit that we are mostly now in an OK place with each other that we can have a drink together and a bit of a laugh - I even gave him some homemade rocky road to take to his Mum tomorrow for Christmas - yes, I am an angel from heaven (ahem).

But I also can become quite reflective as well at this time. This time of year can be a real struggle for so many, whether you are surrounded by love ones or not.

Sometimes we can be lonely even when we are surrounded by people. Others may not have anyone at Christmas to share the day or even some of the time with.

It can be very difficult for those who suffer from the dreaded black dog - depression.

I am one of the lucky ones, and I do feel so very thankful every day. I have two wonderful kids, a great family, some fantastic friends, and even an ex husband who I can have a drink with now.

But, I have also had the dreaded black dog trying to pull me along at times and it can be bloody hard. Trying to do everything, and do the best I can etc etc can be hard sometimes.

I have that black dog at heel now, after a tough year in 2010. Yes, 2011 has been better and I am looking forward to 2012 - for some strange reason I always think even years are better for me!!!  :)

But, if you are feeling like things are tough, or you feel alone, or that sometimes things are just not right, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

I remember reading stories like this when I was very troubled, and thought they were probably a lot of crap.

Well, this one is true. 

I am not going to give advice, god knows I am not any good at it.  But, please know that if you feel troubled, you are not alone.  And please remember to take some time out for yourself this Christmas. It can be bloody hard - we will be spending a few hours in the car travelling tomorrow.

But that's OK.

Sometimes, I just take it a day at a time. Sometimes an hour at a time.

And that's OK.

Unfortunately, this dreaded disease (and it IS a DISEASE) is still taboo.   People don't want to talk about it, or just say "Oh everyone has bad days".

But that's not OK.


But, I just want to say tonight that I hope wherever you are, and with you are with loved ones or not, I hope that you have A MERRY CHRISTMAS and A VERY HAPPY 2012.

Hope I haven't scared you off.

Will resume normal ridiculous blogging after Christmas.

I still have to tell you about the sing alongs at the neighbours campsites and how the car was making some VERY STRANGE NOISES!!!!!



Wednesday, 21 December 2011

What's WIth The Bathmat????

So the weather has not been entirely nice to us whilst on the inaugural Evans Family Camping Holiday.

But hey, what's a bit of rain between friends. Actually, it hasn't really been too bad, we have still managed to swim every day bar one, so we are happy little campers (just had to throw that line in!!).

As I have been stickybeaking innocently glancing at other people's camping homes, I realised a couple of things:
          1. Some people should have just bought a bloody Noosa penthouse with the money they have spent on their camping gear - Seriously

          2. Some people have brought along fridges - FRIDGES - yes, really, bloody FRIDGES. Now to me that is just wrong. I thought camping was about bringing along the 1970's orange and yellow esky that you picked up for $6 at the Reviva centre and bought ice to put in it everyday, especially when the snags started floating around in the water.  Where is the fun in wondering if the mince really is OK for one extra night or that slightly yellow tinge may bring about a sudden case of diarrohea in the middle of the night and have one sprinting at an Olympic pace to the amenities in the middle of the night, only to discover they had forgotten the key, and knowing that they won't make it to the tent and back in time so they unfortunately had to break the lock for the disabled toilet just so there wouldn't be a terribly nasty accident???   Fridge - bahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

       3. Bath mats - now I may be old fashioned but I seriously thought that having a shower meant you wore your thongs as the likelihood of going home with tinea was extremely high, and that the bottom of your yoga pants were supposed to get a little bit wet every time  (and you would know this from reading an earlier post) ??????  SO what is with the bloody designer bath mats that some people take in so they can keep their little tootsies nice and dry after they have just had a shower in a cubicle in which the previous tenant was probably some snotty nosed three year old who spent the whole time pissing in the shower??????

But we have made an extra camping supplies purchase, and no, it is not another bloody tarpaulin. We went to a camping supplies shop just so we could wander around and look at all the stupid things people buy for a camping trip. We decided we didn't need any more tent poles as we quite liked the shanty town lopsided look of our tent - any one can have a straight tent with perfect poles and an extra extra extra bloody large tarpaulin neatly placed over the top with beautiful coloured ropes and anchor things holding it upright, all perfectly aligned with their neighbours tents to keep the village looking nice!!!!!

Anyway, we purchased a you beaut Aussie Camping Whistling Kettle, at the bargain price of $15. We had a teapot billy which took 87 hours to boil then gave me third degree burns when I tried to get it off the stove. So now, we just keep boiling the kettle, just to hear the whistle.

Photos will be up soon.

Ahhhhh, the serenity..................................

Any tips on other camping supplies?? Feel free to comment  :)

Lisa x0x

p.s. Oh, next post will include - Poolside attire - Why the beejeezeez is she wearing a Bowral puffer vest over her cosies at the pool (no, it WASN'T me)

Tuesday, 20 December 2011

And We're Off!

I know that some of you, OK, two of you, have been waiting with baited breath to find out how the camping nightmare trip is going.
I just have a few snippets of insight to share with you this day, as there will be a much more detailed and no doubt exciting read to come!

Firstly, the camping preparartions. Can the people who write, blog, or even claim to have some knowledge of camping please get it right!!!

We packed the car to the absolute fullest, in that Georgia was lucky to actually get in. Lucky we didn't have far to go as I think we may not have found her again under the pile of ripsticks, eskies, swags, doonas etc

Upon arrival, I duly advised the check in lass that this was our first time camping. Her co worker started sniggering which to me, was not a good sign.

We duly located our plot, complete beach side, so we were happy little campers (well, we had to be once). Unpacking the car, the sun was out and we were getting a little burnt but all good.

Luckily we had Georgia who was the only person who had any idea. Sam was doing what he does best, barking orders, and being the general foreman. Georgia was following me around, fixing up all my mistakes. 

We put two tarps down as 'extra flooring' because THAT IS WHAT THE BLOODY BOOK SAID! Then proceeded to get the tent up. Surprisingly, it didn't actually take that long, compared to some others we have seen. The couple in the carvan next to us were heard lauging a couple of times, but we  soon fixed that!!!

So, all good. Off to the beach then the pool for some swimming fun and general relaxing. The Senior Sergeant was adamant we have sausages for dinner that evening so we fired up the new camp stove and cooked a treat - knock yourself out Jamie Oliver.

Sam and I in the main tent, and Georgia in her tent at our back door. Literally, at our back door. I couldn't put a little toe out there without being in her tent.

Amenities lovely, clean and with hot water.

Although there is obviously a trick in once you get dry, but with your still wet obligatory thonged feet, it is then very hard to keep the bottom of your pants dry. Am giving this much thought, as I am thinking of desiging pants with a waterproof hem. Any thoughts?????

It was so bloody annoying lovely listening to the sounds of the crashing waves as I lay on my air bed, wondering why the hell I hadn't booked a 10 night holiday to Noosa in a penthouse apartment with a chef and bar tender!!!

But no, this is a wonderful family holiday.

Woke up as stiff as a bloody corpse as refreshed as a daisy, ready for the new day to begin.

Now, I don't want to tire you of reading all the adventures in one go so I will stop for now.

But, just to let you know, the next instalment will include witty items such as:

       1. Doesn't everyone have a spare floor under their tent?
        2. How many bloody tarps do I need to stop the rain coming in? and
        3. Why I shot the neighbours!!!

Oh, and I will also put up some great pics. It is too glary (is that how you spell it) to do that now, and I can hear a cocktail by the pool calling my name.

So, don't foget to come back now, ya hear??????

Any camping tips or comments welcome.
Anyone who wants to give me a carvan - YOU ARE VERY WELCOME


Lisa  x0x

The Camper's Wardrobe

Thought I would throw in a few tips learnt along the way of our glamping trip.

The first section is on wardrobe.

After packing everything we needed for the trip- in the way of tent, FLOOR TARPS, cooking utensils, plates, sleeping bags, towels, beds, blankets, blah blah blah it was left at the last minute to pack my bag.

Being at one with nature , ahem, I thought that I needed to make sure I had all outfits sorted. So, here is my camping attire list - be sure to keep at as no doubt it will come in handy!!

2 x jeans
2 cargo pants
3 x trackie dacks yoga pants (for being close to nature)
3 shorts
3 skirts
2 dresses
5 singlet tops
4 t shirts
1 pretty sequinned cardy
2 pairs jammies
6 pairs socks
3 shirts
2 cosies
1 sarong (bring back the 80's I say)
2 pairs thongs
1 pair sparkly thongs
1 pair runners (for my morning jog)
85 pairs undies

Looks something like this, NOT!

Oh, and here I am modelling one of the dresses I brought

Just blending in with the environment

So there you have it. Yes, we are only camping for a week.

And yes, I have worn 1 pair jeans, 1 pair yoga pants, couple of singlet tops, the sequinned cardy - because sequins never go astray in a wet campsite I say - sarong and cosies.

Just off to the pool in this!

So the chances of me wearing every piece of item before we go home may be small, but there is nothing like being prepared for every occassion.

And you just never know what you might be invited to.

Now, if I can just work out how to turn the dresses and skirts into waterproof tarps, we will be right!!!

Any tips for a camper's wardrobe???


Lisa xox

Friday, 16 December 2011

Tis The Season - Fa la la la la la la la la

Tis the season, fa la la...or something like that.

Now many of us are proud (most of the time) of our kid's achievements. I may have even recently boasted mentioned one or two things about my kids recently.

But I have just been reading an article about one daughter of whom any mother, or father, would be so embarrassed by they would lock her in her room forever just be so proud.

This young lass, who goes by the where do these people get these names from name Mekeeda, has written her list of items she would like to ask Santa for.

What the f%^$??? does she want????

Her list includes items such as a Blackberry phone, a wtf?? designer Laura Knitted 33 jumper, pair of converse and some sunnies. Nice list there Mekeeda - or Keeds as I like to call her.

Now, I don't know in her house, but in this little shack, Santa cannot always bring everything that is asked for (so NO Georgia, there will be no horse under the tree on Christmas morning).  That is why we write a wish list.


Hey, Keeds, do you get it - a BLOODY WISH LIST KIDDO!

But, oh no, that is not good enough for Keeds. If Santa don't bring Keeds no phone, no Laura Knitted 33 jumper, no converse and no sunnies, Keeds is goin' dis Santa.

Yep, she even threatened to hunt him down, kill the Reindeer and feed them to homeless people - God Bless!!!

And what does Mum say about this I hear you ask?  I HEAR YOU ASK?????

Oh, Mum says that she better do what Keeds wants as she has a bit of a nasty streak and no one should get on the wrong side of her.


She is 13 years old. She has threatened to hunt and kill Santa if he doesn't bring her what she wants.


And to  little Missy Keeds, I think the best thing for you little princess is a teaspoon of cement.


And to all, a good night

Lisa  x0x

p.s. If you don't believe me, click on this link for the article. Love to hear what you think

Thursday, 15 December 2011

I Survived!

Just a quick shout out to the lovely girl at Endota Spa in Bowral who managed to turn my legs from this

Of course these aren't really mine

to this....

Of course these ARE really mine!!!

With only a small amount of this....

And a bigger bit of this...

To make me think of this.....

Now, what next can I take on - climbing Mt Everest????

At least I will have nice smooth legs


Lisa x0x

p.s. And no, Endota Spa did not pay me for this post, nor even give me a discount, but I would certainly be happy with a free facial!!!!
It was just that she was really nice

Wednesday, 14 December 2011

Wax on Wax off

You would think that the upcoming trip was a 6 month Greek Island Odyssey with the preparations happening.

Alas, a week in a tent may not be the same but doesn't mean I can't dream.

So in preparation, I am doing it. Yep, am going for a full leg wax!

For the first time in 20 years!!!

NO, it doesn't mean that I have had the Belanglo Forest growing on these pins (or rather, tree stumps) for that period but have been happy to settle for the good old razor.
These are NOT my legs!!!

But, have decided to bite the dust and do it.


For the third time in my life.

The first time I was about 16 and had been happy enough with a razor. But, as my bestie was getting it done, and being one who was truly influenced by peer pressure, I decided to do same.

I managed to get 1/2 of one leg done before I started screaming to "STOP! STOP !! STOP!!!" as I decided that I couldn't handle it any more and was quite happy to keep on shavin'!!

So, about 10 years later I had a friend (note the past tense used as in 'had' no longer 'have') who was training to be  a beautician and told me that things had improved in the waxing industry (I still don't know how!) and that it just wouldn't hurt.

So after work I went one day and hopped up on to the lovely bed with lovely towels and Enya coming through the speakers and the beautiful smelling candles etc etc . Looking back, I realise this was just a ploy to keep me preoccupied and not thinking about what she was doing.

Three, yes 3, read it, 3 hours later, she had almost finished. I had tried everything under the sun to think about something else, rather than the excruiating pain that this so called friend of mine was inflicting upon me. All in the name of 'training'. When she finally finished, and I stopped crying, I managed to drink a whole bottle of wine in one go, and ran out that door, never to speak to her again.

Waxing should be considered a chore

But, I still have not learnt my lesson. I have made a booking to have a full leg wax done at a lovely beautician in town here, who do my other 'waxing' bits. I chose them beacuse they have lovely soft towels, play Enya, have pretty smelling candles, and beauticians who speak in a very soft voice and all who weigh about 20 kilos and look about 12 years old.

So is this how they wax now???

Although I did suggest that they may have to put me in the soundproof room, and that I could not promise not to use violence at some stage.

I did also ask if it would be alright if I drank a bottle of wine BEFORE I get it done - just in case!!

Have you got any tips to help dull the waxing pain????


Lisa xox

Tuesday, 13 December 2011

Oi, Hughie, Ease up Mate!!!

To say that I am a lot little concerned about the upcoming glamping camping trip may be a slight understatement.

No, it is not the fact that the tent is STILL sitting on the back table because we haven't yet managed to get it back in the bag....

No, it is not the fact that I am still a little unsure of how many tent poles we really should have as we did seem to have a few baggy bits....

Don't suppose she really could stand there for a week holding it up???

No, it is not the fact that as I have to get up to go to the bathroom at least twice a night so will be wandering around half asleep trying to find the loo in a bloody caravan park on the beach and am likely to end up in the water instead of back in the tent...

I'm sure the tent is here somewhere

And no, it is not even the fact that I have now bought three battery operated lanterns to give us a light when cooking the sausages gourmet meals every night and I cannot get ONE of them to bloody well work.....

It is the fact that it WON'T BLOODY STOP RAINING AND OUR TENT IS ONLY LITTLE AND WE MAY HAVE TO HOLIDAY IN THE CAR FOR A WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (and yes, I was shouting).

Ok, so I may not have a home, but check out my computer!!!!!

Seriously, is this rain ever going to stop? Ever?????

So, any tips on how to stop the rain whilst on  a family camping trip most welcome.

Lisa  x0x