Tuesday, 31 January 2012

Starting School - Lesson 1

Oh, first day back at school, how cute!

I can hear the sigh of relief from parents everywhere! I actually like the school hols, but I must admit, I like it better when I am on hols too!

Now, this post is a few tips from a teacher's point of view for those first day nerves. I know, I am a bit late so let's call it second day nerves. And yes, the teacher is me!

1.  Yes, Johnny, doesn't your new shiny lunchbox filled with 35 pieces of fruit, a bottle of sparkling mineral water, a haloumi and chorizo wrap with dill and Mummy's special mustard sauce, a homemade muesli bar (nut free of course), a packet of sultanas, a cheese stick, a mini yoghurt and a bottle of no sugar juice look wonderful!  Don't worry, Johnny, Mum/Dad/Grandma/Poppy/Significant other will soon lose the excitement of sending you to school with a gourmet lunchbox every day that would take you 6 hours to atcually eat it all and you will end up like every other kid in the playyground with a vegemite sandwich on white bread, a packet of tiny teddies and a mouldy banana in your kicked around and battered lunchbox.

2. Yes, Mary, I can see you have beautiful textas (even though you aren't allowed textas at this school for another 5 years) and yes, isn't Mummy the clever one who has made individual labels with a little animal for each texta and spent the last 7 days labelling them all. Don't worry Mary, by the end of week one you will have about 3 1/2 textas left and you will just colour everything in purple, yellow and baby poo brown. No, Mary, of course Mummy won't be disappointed in your artistic endeavours and yes, you will go to University and study for  a Bachelor of Arts because you do such wonderful pictures.

What's that Mary? It's not a picture of your nuclear family at all? Oh, now I see it, it is a picture of the Wiggles performing a concert in their nursing home - yes, Mary, that is the picture of the week

3. Yes, Francois, (oh for heaven's sake - where is the french in your family) you will get a merit award at sometime during the year because EVERY BLOODY KID gets a merit award. No, Francois (oh please) you don't have to be good at everything or in fact anything because teachers can always find a way to spot the 'good' in the little terrors angels in her class.
What's that Frenchy? No, getting a merit award for being proud of the playground is not a cop out but I can't write you one for pushing Little Suky over headfirst into the sand pit because she looks like a dead blow fly and everyone laughed so just be bloody grateful you got one at all

4. Yes Little Suky, you are an angel and I am SOOOOOO glad you are in my class. Now, I know it is only the start of the year but I think we should discuss a savings plan for you. What's that Suky? You want to donate the money to starving children in the Moon? Oh, dear, no, I was more thinking along the lines of spending that money on a lovely crate of Moet for me for Christmas. How many A's would you like on that report Mr and Mrs Suky?

And that's just in the first five minutes!!!

Oh, I do miss teaching (I really do)


Lisa x0x

Monday, 30 January 2012

Supermarket Soiree

I must admit, I am not a fan of supermarket shopping.

I find that when I am at the checkout I am annoyed at how much I am spending and that there are so many other important things I could be doing with the money - like buying new shoes paying more off the school fees.

But, on the weekend, knowing that the two little Country Gypsies were coming back home and in anticipation of starting school, I should probably get some food in the house.

Now, I am a big fan of Aldi but decided I would go to Coles instead, for those things you just can't get at Aldi.  After driving around Coles within a 100km radius, I decided that it wouldn't happen so would go over to Woolies.

Of course, lots of people decided that they too would do their grocery shopping at the same time but that they were going to drive around the car park as though they were BROWSING for a park. Normally, I would not get too worked up about this but feeling a bit under the weather at the moment so in no mood for the bloody volvo driving puffer vest wearing Booooowwwwwrrrraaallllll shoppers who are browsing for a park right next to the shops because heaven forbid they would have to walk 5 metres.

So after driving to a car park about 40 kilometres away, I walked into Woolies ready to do my mad dash  around the aisles. Up to the deli to take my numbered ticket and patiently wait my turn. My ticket no - 22, the numbers were up to 21 - woo hoo. So, when they say 'next' and look at the light, the witch next to me says - "Oh, that's me", looking at the ticket dispenser,' I am no. 23' and off she starts ordering her 2 slices off ham "No, not that one dear, the one below it, it has less fat" and then another 2 pieces of shaved Jarslberg - what the?????

As the next number was called out I yelled - 'It's me, I have No 22 - she pushed in - it's me, ME, ME I tell you". Once the deli assistant got over the shock, she then pleasantly got my order of 45 kilos of devon that the Senior Sergeant will eat by Wednesday of this week. 

Of course, it is always the days that you just chuck on any old thing to duck down to the supermarket that you will run into about 97 people that you know.  Some, you may want to impress, others you may just want to give them a backhander as they ask how long you have been unwell because you look like absolute crap - thanks for that, Steve A.  I must admit, if I am ducking down there on the weekend, or weekday for that matter, I don't tend to dress all country road with my knee high tan boots, my skinny leg jeans, my gorgeous tunic style top and my pearls because to be honest, I AM BUYING TOILET PAPER OR DOMESTOS or EXIT MOULD and there ain't nothing at all glamourous about that.

So, I am whizzing up and down the aisles, just chucking things I think we need in the trolley, when there is a standstill. Dad and the two kids have offered to do the shopping but Dad has to phone Mum on the mobile and VERY BLOODY LOUDLY ask what type of batteries the torch underneath the sink needs. Now, I wouldn't have given a toss about this but the fact that he had the trolley parked at a 90 degree angle across the aisle meant no one could get through. "Just buy D, C and double A's" I wanted to scream loudly at him whilst hurtling his trolley down to fresh fruit, but I just ever so manically  manoeuvred his trolley out the way so I could run fast to the check out, and not have 95 people ask if they could go ahead of me because they only had a little basket with one or two thousand items in them (I think by this stage I had that look about me - Do you dare?)

Luckily the supermarket has a bottle shop attached to it, that's all I can say.

Oh, one last tip. When you decide to bake a cake because your kids are coming home from being at Disneyland Dad's for a couple of weeks, don't forget to take it OUT of the oven BEFORE you leave to go grocery shopping. Remembering when you are in the dog food aisle is not much help, and by this stage, you are just hoping the house hasn't burnt down (especially as you had just mopped the floors that morning).

But, all is OK. You just cut off the crunchy top and you have one lovely, if not a tad dry, chocolate swirl cake.


Lisa xox

p.s. No pics for this post - apparently I look like crap!!!!

Saturday, 28 January 2012

Butch is 21

Last weekend the kids and I hopped in the car (once again) and set off for a visit to my brother's place in Molong - near Orange for those of you who are thinking what the???

When we make the trek up there, and considering I had to go from Southern Highlands to Orange via the Central Coast to pick up the littlies (!!!)  we ensure we stop and have a rest break (he ain't called Senior Sergeant for nothing).

One of our favourite stops is The Wayzgoose Cafe in Leura. Good friends put us on to this little gem a few years ago and it has become on of our little traditions.

This is why!!!

Yes, it is a Flowerpot Scone. A scone, baked in  wee little terracotta flower pot, and comes straight out of the oven directly to your table.

One of the lovely things about this cafe, besides the obvious tasty treat, is that the gentleman who owns it comes over and says "Oh, just let me know if you want more jam and cream - I really must get bigger plates for them - no charge of course". Once I get back up off the floor, I remember that this is one of my favourite reasons for coming here.

Then, after a quick trip to the infamous lolly shop, we hopped back in the car and drove for another 89 hours to arrive at my brother's place. The reason for the trip was my middle nephew's 21st. Now we only found out not that long ago that Mr S does not go by his real name. He is known as "Butch". My other brother thinks this is just hilarious. 

Butch and his lovely girlfriend, Ms A, have just bought a house in Orange, just prior to Christmas - good on them I say (just a shame their middle aged aunt is STILL BLOODY RENTING). So they had the 21st at their place and let me tell you, Butch has got himself one sorted out woman there.

Of course, being in the country, we had a number of different shaped and sized utes where the lads just backed them up in the driveway, and when there was no room just parked them anywhere in the street, and proceeded to sit on the back of the ute and enjoy the party.
Not quite the back of the ute but The Senior Sergeant looks pretty relaxed with his big cousins

I managed to have a chat with one of these young dudes who said- "Oh, it's funny to see some of you old teachers here".  After I knocked him out and he regained conscience, I informed him that I would never have taught him (there were about three of their old teachers there - one of them being my brother who is Butch's Dad).

I told Captain Obvious that I was actually Rob's sister, and he then replied - "Oh, Rob Hancock". Well, there was no such teacher of that name so I then told him - "No, Rob McLean". The reply "Oh no, I don't know him, I was taught by Mr McLean".  Now, I guess it could have been understandable but this kid's parents have paid a hell of a lot of money for this kid to attend school, and I am just not sure it was worth it.

Anyway, a fun night was had by all - well I did leave at midnight and from last reports - they are still partying, but that's what you do isn't it?

Now, my 21st.........

Been to a 21st lately???


Lisa xox

Tuesday, 24 January 2012

The Evans Etiquette Epistle (whoa, that took a while to think of)

Yes, I am back on my high horse once again.

Many of us use emails on a daily, hourly, minutely basis. For work, fun, to relieve boredom (get a life would you) and as a method of communication.

However, I am increasingly concerned at the lack of manners that people (you know who you are) believe they can get away with when using email.

Now I don't know if the University of Sydney has a course in email etiquette but I have decided to run my own (If only I could work how to charge for this!).

And, out of the kindness of my heart, I will be providing this guide for free, nothing, nada - who says you don't get anything for free anymore.

Ok, here goes (of course, none of you need this, but you may know someone who does. I have, for ease of writing, pretended that you need this when emailing me :)

# 1 - I am a person, not a computer. If you send an email, it really doesn't take long to welcome me. So, instead of just launching in to what you want i.e. your message, how bout you address me. I don't need to be addressed as Queen Lisa, Country Gypsies, Your Highness, but a simple "Hi" or "Hello" or even a G'Day. If you phone me, I don't think you immediately launch into the conversation without some type of greeting, or do you. It is also polite and it doesn't matter if you email me 3 million times a day - it is just the right thing to do (Must admit, my boss is quite good at this - on the days when he is replying to the 85 million emails I send him per day, he will normally start with a "Hi Lisa". Although did get a tad awkward when he started all his emails with "Hi Lisa'; when they weren't actually to me

Now THAT'S a pretty hello

#2. See # 1. Again, Yes, it really bugs me. I had an email the other day that started with "WELL, I .......(blah blah blah)"  So not only do you not acknowledge that I am a person but you are also shouting at me.  And when you do that, I DO NOT RESPOND TO YOU. See, I CAN SHOUT BACK if you SHOUT AT ME FOR NO GOOD REASON.


#3.  See #1 and # 2.

#4. If I ask you a question in my email, I would generally think you would send me a reply answering it. It does not mean I am just asking you a question for the bloody sake of it, it means I want/need an answer.

# 5. Sometimes I may make a mistake (not often ha ha). So if you decide you want to play Captain Bloody Obvious, then please, send me an email back and point out all my mistakes. But be aware, I may not even bother to open your email and just send it straight to the rubbish bin. But if you are nice about it, THANK YOU , I do appreciate it.  After all, I am only human (??!!)

So, that is it. Not much to ask, I would not think, but just a bloody loud  gentle reminder that it is nice to be nice, and generally doesn't take much.

OK, now how do I get off this bloody high horse????


Lisa x0x

Friday, 20 January 2012

Today's Blog Post is about...oh damn I forgot

I don't want to alarm you but things just aren't right here at Country Gypsies.
I am a little concerned that I am losing my.......

Um, where was I?  That's right - about to make a cuppa tea.

Where did I put my tea cup?

Now where did I put the computer and why am I holding the kettle??

Seriously, I am starting to forget things.

In my cleansing frenzy a couple of weeks ago, I took my watch off and put it somewhere very special. So, WHY THE BLOODY HELL CAN'T I FIND IT????

Really, I cannot find it. I may have put in somewhere in the pantry when I was cleaning that out - who knew that those pesky 'use before' date stamps were true - but I now can't find it anywhere. I have come to the conclusion that the mouse we had in the pantry has taken off with it, because I tried to kill it with ratsak.

get out of the watch Mouse and bring it back

I am forever losing my keys. Yesterday, I couldn't find them when I had to go out. Eventually I found them, in the bathroom. Well, nothing wrong with that is there!

Then I went to do a couple of things and twice lost them whilst out. WTF?????

I have come to the conclusion that my mind is full. Completely full. There is no more room in there to remember anything else. I need to purge some of the bits in there that I don't need anymore like I still know every ABBA song that was ever written, my thoughts about what happened to Sam Wiggle, and ....oh see, I forgot again.

So, from today, I am going to try and purge my mind so that it is clear and ready to start again. Let's hope that I can end up with a clear mind and remember all those important things, and not have too many of those non important things in there.

Now, if only I knew where I put the children!!
And do I really own a cow????

I had a question to ask you at the end of this post but I forgot what it was.


Lisa   xox

Thursday, 19 January 2012

Hot Potato Hot Potato

I read in the news that Greg Page, the original Yellow Wiggle, is making a comeback.

I am not too sure how I feel about this (I am sure that the Wiggles Company are on edge waiting for my reply!).

My kids grew up with Greg as the Yellow Wiggle, so I guess it may pull a little on the heartstrings that he has been able to get help for his health problems and is feeling better.

However, I can't help but feel sorry for Sam Wiggle - who replaced Greg Wiggle five years ago. It was towards the end of this Wiggly household as our musical tastes evolved and the next CD was to be Guns n Roses!
Go Sam!

Five years is a long time (and how many jobs have I had in that time..one,two, three, four...oh let's not go there) to be a 'replacement' in a job. I think (for what it's worth) is that Sam Wiggle did a mighty fine job. He apparently has been with The Wiggles for 9 years all up in different characters but there must have been a few lemonades drunk when he was finally ceremoniously handed the yellow skivvy (not unlike the handing of the baggy green to our cricketers I would imagine) and high five's all round for Sam.

Now I don't wish illness back on poor old Greg but it is hard not to be cynical as Greg has appeared in No Idea many times (I don't buy it - just read it at supermarket - shhh) bemoaning the fact that he lost millions due to the GFC or KFC or WTF or something.  Man up Greg, you have had a pretty good lifestyle (and I know he worked hard for that so good on him) but lot's of people either lost out as well, or have never even had it for a while.

Oh, he had to sell his mansion at Dural. Oh, he couldn't afford countless overseas trips and holidays anymore. Oh, but he still has one of the world's most extensive collection of Elvis memorabilia which apparently is worth millions - oh no, didn't have to sell that as that would have been too hard to part with.

Toughen up Princess!!!! 

He claims he didn't get to say goodbye to all his fans. Greg, mate, their average age is 3 1/2 - do you actually think they give a toss????

Sorry, Greg, I wish you well with your health and hope that your condition is now at a manageable level. But don't start on with all the crap about how great it is to be back, I am pretty sure that all you can see at this stage are the $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$. I believe the band earned $45 million in 2010.

Oh, no, of course you aren't in it for the money.

Wait, those bloody pigs are back flying outside.

Looking at pics of you and Sam Wiggle, my suggestion to you Greg - how about you be Poppy Wiggle

So, what do you think. Should Poppy Wiggle come back and kick the young 'un out?


Lisa xox

p.s. Disclosure - I have actually worked with Greg Page at a charity event I was running, he is a lovely man and very kind. But still!!!!!

Wednesday, 18 January 2012

Neighbours, Every body Loves Good Neighbours

I hope you sang the title of this blog post as you read it.

As we have lived in a few different places, we have always tried to be friendly with our neighbours. Growing up, I was lucky to have the wonderful AT as my neighbour, who was only 9 months younger than me.  We are still friends, although catch ups are unfortunately very rare.

Christmas mornings were always drinks with the neighbours, with all the kids out the front riding their new bikes etc (why do I never see kids out on Christmas morning with all their toys - OMG I am sounding old).

We have been fairly lucky as we have had a few wonderful neighbours at different places we have lived in.

Our first family home in Willoughby in Sydney, we had elderly neighbours both next door and across the road who were all lovely people, always ready for a chat (my kind of neighbour!!)

Then, when we moved to the Upper North Shore, we had a lovely American family with a little girl who loved to play with Horse Girl and the Senior Sergeant (part of the play included dressing the Senior Sergeant up in fairy dresses - lucky he was only 3!!!)

Then we had the most wonderful couple - Mr S and Mr E.  Oh, how I miss them. They were so lovely, well they still are I am sure, and many a drink or two was shared with them.

When we made our big move, we had great neighbours - they were the ones who rescued Lucky the Chook you may remember.  The last couple of places were more just a wave to the neighbours -sometimes that is the best that can happen.

Now we have elderly neighbours on either side of us and a families across the road. Interesting that we now live closer, physically, than ever to our neighbours, yet the families do not even acknowledge us. We have certainly tried the friendly wave, the friendly greeting, nothing works!! Oh well, their loss!!!

Then on one side of us, we have a lady who thinks my name is Lillibeth. I do not know how Lisa becomes Lillibeth, nor that I am actually so closely related to the Queen of England, but oh well, whatever floats your boat.

Then on the other side of us we have lovely J. He is 83 years old, and lives with his incredibly spoilt and incredibly chubby German Shepherd.  Now J is a lovely fellow, but unfortunately he is of Hungarian/German/Scottish/Ukrainian descent and I cannot understand a word he says. So, I talk to him, he replies and my usual reply is "yes".

Unfortunately, this can often result in him looking at me with a somewhat disturbed look as I obviously should not be answering 'yes' to some of his comments.  He now also shouts at me - I think he might be thinking I have a hearing issue when in fact, I can hear him I just can't understand him.

This has come to a head this week in a slightly unfortunate incident. I was out hedge trimming with my hedge trimmer (mmm, not quite straight there!!!) when J started commented on my hedge trimming skills (I only know this because of his use of sign language).

What I now understand was that he was questioning my trimming of a particular plant on the fence bordering our two houses. I thought he was praising my skills, when, in fact, it now appears he was actually asking me if he could dig that plant out of our yard and put it in his yard as I obviously didn't like it as I had trimmed it to within an inch of its life.

My replies of "oh yes, yes, mmmmmm" has now resulted in him coming in and digging the plant out of my garden and popping it in his own garden bed, leaving a gaping hole in my front garden!!!!!

Oh, well, off to the nursery I go to find a replacement plant for the unexpected hole in the garden.  Might drop into the bookshop to see if I can find a German/Hungarian/Scottish/Ukranian  dictionary for some translation help.


Lisa xox

Tuesday, 17 January 2012

The Ants Go Marching One By One - HOORAY!!!!

In the spirit of what was a weird week last week (please don't mention black bras), I discovered that my printer was full of ants. Yes, ANTS.

You may have read about this in my weekly review.

I was a little taken aback, let's say, to discover this when I was trying to print stuff important and valuable information  for work.

Wondering what was going on, and being so tech savvy, I opened my printer to discover that 3 million ants had decided to call my printer home.

Here's a little reminder of our own ant's nest

Even weirder is that after I decided to put my printer out on the front porch (don't ask me why, I thought it may like a little holiday from my desk) I went out there today armed with a screw driver. I was going to attempt to unscrew the 900 000 screws holding it together and see if there was some way that I could try to completely stuff it up fix it.

Having a holiday away from the desk

Well, lo and behold, goneskis.

That's right, they have moved on to another printer in a far off land.  I have no idea how or why this happened, nor do I particularly care all that much.

I am just so pleased that I now don't have to buy another printer.

Although, I am seriously starting to think that someone is trying to play tricks on me, what with ants in the printer, Grandpas wearng bras......what next???

Ants driving down the main drag of BOOOWWWRRRAAALLLL driving Volvos wearing puffer vests????

Do you know how hard it is to find an ant driving a car image????

Nothing would surprise

Has your printer been invaded by unusual animals??????/


Lisa xox

Monday, 16 January 2012

Just Call me Martha!!!

Back to normal transmission this week - think I need to do yoga!!!

Anyway, we have just celebrated the Senior Sergeant's birthday. I cannot believe my boy has turned 11 - it really doesn't seem like 11 years ago this little boy had to be raced into neo natal care as soon as he was born and on to oxygen due to a problem with his lungs.

Look at him now and no one would believe me!!!

He has decided that he is a bit cross with me though as having a birthday in January means he gets lots of presents within a few weeks and then NOTHING for the remainder of the year. I am not so sure of the NOTHING as I seem to think he has more than enough but who am I to argue with the SS.

Anyway, we spent the weekend at his Dad's holiday house at Copacabana (at the Copa, Copacabanaaaaaaaa).  He decided that he didn't want to spend hours in the car on his birthday (fair enough) so we went up to Copa yesterday and played happy families overnight.

So it was Happy Birthday all round on Sunday morning.  He received a pretty swanky sports G shock (whatever that means) watch from me, so swanky and with so many buttons, we don't actually know how to set the time right!!! Oh well, there's a little project for Mum!!

He also received plenty of other presents (enough to keep him going at least 11 months!) so all happy.

Ahh, sibling love. Two seconds later.......

Do my children EVER get out of their pyjamas????

Now, back to me!  yes, I made the mother of all birthday cakes.  I know I am not setting a trend, apparently these cakes were BIG a year or so ago, but hey - who gives a .....

Anyway, I know many of you read my blog for my inspiring recipes. Well, you just need to make three cakes, divide each cake mix into two and add some garish colours.  Slice the tops off and then stick in the freezer until you are ready to face the whole thing again.

Next, get up 8 hours earlier than normal to start the icing.  You need about 3.5 kg icing sugar, 26 tubs of butter, bit of milk and a splash or 9 of vanilla essence.  Now, if you are doing this at your ex husband's beach house (which is pretty much the only thing that is missed from that whole relationship!!!)  don't presume they have any cooking/icing/ beaters, bowls suitable. I did manage to take up most items needed, except a larger than large bowl so had to make the icing in a measuring jug - yes, I had to make about 47 lots of it.

One important tip I have is do not attempt this when the humidity is at approximately 4500% as the icing slips off the cake as fast as you can put it on. What did I do then I hear you ask?

Horse Girl and her BFF then decided they would THROW, yes, THROW smarties at it to cover up the bits of cake that the icing had dropped off. So, as you can see in the pic, there is 1/2 icing and then about 3 kilos of smarties all clumped down the bottom.

Smarties were being pelted at the cake at this stage!

But, hey, it was a success and I was pretty proud! And the Senior Sergeant was impressed which was the main thing!

No, he didn't eat it all in one go

Yes, I know, Martha Stewart - here I come (hopefully without the insider trading jail term!!!!)

So, what's your favourite birthday cake???


Lisa  x0x

p.s. Oh, one other tips, when your ex husband puts out little plates for the cake to go on, IT WON'T FIT!!! The cake is equivalent to the Eiffel Tower (or in my case, the Leaning Tower of Lisa) so you need the largest plates you have in the cupboard to put it on.

Friday, 13 January 2012

A Not So Fab Friday Vent!

This is a quick one this afternoon (I can hear the sighs of relief) and it is basically just me having a whine so don't mind if you turn off now.

I think I am a fairly easy going person.

With work, I have very very high standards, and often do not understand why others don't.

I have taught my children the importance of manners, because this matters to me. They have been complimented on their manners, and this brings a smile to my face.

I also am trying to instill in them that every one is equal. No person in the world is more important than any one else, regardless of where they live, how much they earn, who their friends are etc etc

I sincerely hope that is something that they grow up with, and ALWAYS remember.

I am happy to help people out, whenever and wherever is necessary. I don't shout it out from the rooftops - I don't need everyone to praise me all of the time - although a bit of praise can bring a smile to all of us. But that is not how I know if I have done a good job. I know in myself if I have done a good job, or if I could have put in a bit more of an effort.

But I sincerely hope that I have never been rude to someone without meaning to be. I may have been rude a few times - but it was deserved!!!

And I certainly do not ask people to do something that I wouldn't do myself.

But, if you want me to do something, if I can I will. If I can't do it for whatever reason, I am finally starting to learn to say NO, I can't do that now.

But whether I can do something or not, just remember this. 

If you ask someone to do something, remember that word - PLEASE.  It may not mean much to you, but it does to me.

And, whatever you do, whoever you are, you do not have the right to be rude to anyone, nor think that you are better than me.


We all eat, we all sleep and we all shit - see, all the same!

(I hope I haven't offended anyone with this, I have just been having a tough time with something and after a few tears, have decided that this may be the best way to vent!  And I know that who it is mainly directed to won't read it!!!!  But, I do believe in karma!)

I hope you all have a great weekend, I know I will!!!


Lisa x0x

The Week That Was!!!!

So it's Friday - Yah!!!!

And even more Yah is that the week is coming to a finish. Now I am not one to wish my life away but what an interesting week that was.

To summarise, ants, rats, and a lingerie wearing Poppy!!

Now, I cannot bring myself to relive the whole black lacy bra wearing Poppy again - I am still too traumatised!!!! So, if you missed that exciting episode, you'll have to go back in the blog.

But that is not the only distressing thing that happened this week (although by far the worst).

Some of you may be aware that I work from home which can be good, and not so good - especially when technical equipment has a hiccup or two. My last job was working for local government where we had a whole department that I could call on if I needed tech help like the computer had jammed, or how do you get white out off the computer screen if you made a mistake.

So I am working merrily away Monday morning where I normally have to print about 30 items for Monday evening. After pressing print, and again and again and again (because if it doesn't work the first time try, try and try again) I realised there was something wrong with my printer.

I turned it off then on because that is my wealth of tech knowledge but alas, still no joy. I had noticed I had a couple of ants roaming on my desk at the time but after swiftly decapitating them, I was on my merry way.

So, I lifted the lid of my printer and found this........

Yes, I know, it's yuck yuck yuck.  A bloody ant's colony had infested my printer!!!  What the.....????
How on earth does that happen???????????????  I sprayed and sprayed and sprayed to the point that I put myself in a bloody Mortein coma and upon waking, they were still bloody there.

What did I do I hear you ask?  I grabbed the printer and ran through the house screaming and put the printer down on a table on the front porch where it still is with our very own ant's nest!!!!!!

That was the start of the week.  But, oh no, it doesn't end there.

Two nights later the Senior Sergeant went to the pantry, because he can and he is an eating machine, to then call out in a slightly girly voice (Sorry SS but you did!!!).

Now, I had spent about four days over the hols cleaning out all my cupboards (I know, living the dream here!!!) and there was a friggin' mouse in the pantry.  I was more annoyed that only a few days before I had cleaned it so well you could have eaten off it - well that;s what bloody Mickey was doing.

I couldn't find him so did what all nature/animal lovers do - grabbed the ratsack.  Placing it near with the offender was last seen, quickly shut the door and ran into bed pulling the covers over me.

Next day, nothing. Thought he had decided that this place was too damn clean and he was off to some other dump. But oh, no!. Horsey Girl that evening went into the kitchen to put something in the sink (because God forbid anyone decides to actually put something in the dishwasher) and let out an almighty girly scream which resulted in the local police arriving asking if I had murdered someone.

So, she had a fleeting glance at Mickey who then ran behind the kettle. Well, now I was really annoyed as I couldn't boil the kettle for my Nana cup of tea.

Grabbed the ratsack and moved it as close to the kettle as I could. Obviously we had now put the fear of God into Mickey because he has shat everywhere near the kettle after having a midnight snack of ratsack!

Then of course, there was the other episode.  I feel ever so relieved now as I always believe things come in three's so hopefully that is it (although I hope it is not categorised - so that I will see two more cross dressing Poppy's or a bloody elephant in the bath!).

Anyway, have a good weekend, it is the Senior Sergeant's birthday on the weekend - just wait till you see the mad cake I am making (hope it works!)


Lisa  x0x

Thursday, 12 January 2012

A Black Bra, Vinnies, and An Elderly Man

Here I was earlier in the week thinking that I may not have enough subject matter to blog about!

Well, that has certainly changed after a rather distressing encounter involving.. you guessed it - A black bra, Vinnies, and a man  who could be someone's Poppy!!!

After dropping Horse girl at a friend's house, I decided to stop in at a local Vinnies to see if I might find that Vintage Caravan for sale for $5. Well, that was not meant to be, but I did get a cute picnic basket for $5 that will no doubt sit idle in the garage until our next move when I decide it is just more crap and I will donate it back!!!

After walking out the door into a blustery wind where my normally perfect hairstyle (ahem!) became rather windblown and I looked like a samoyed who had been involved with a windmill.

An elderly gentleman than started to chat with me, as one does (or they always just seem to chat with me) discussing the weather! He was looking rather awkwardly at me so I quickened my pace as I had parked approximately 400 metres up the road (always looking for a fitness opportunity - that's me).

He then questioned what type of material my top was made of.  Let me set the scene - I was wearing grey cargo pants with a white cotton tunic style top (I know, I am waiting the phone call from Vogue to do fashion blogs!). As we kept walking, he kept questioning me on my top so I replied that it was just a cotton top.

Next question was where did I get it from, which of course, I have no idea. My hurried reply, as I had now started my Kath and Kel type speed walk up the street, was that it may have been from Target.

The reply - "Oh, I just like how you can see your black bra underneath it".  Now, I certainly was not thinking that my luck had changed, as even I have some standards!!!!!  Of course, I would not have known what colour bra I had on, I just grabbed whatever was clean and in some way able to defy gravity.

After a rather lighthearted giggle, I advised Poppy that - "Oops, oh well, lucky I am off home now", thinking this would be the end of the conversation.

Oh No, we he hadn't finished.

He then proceeded to open up the buttons of his blokey check shirt to show me he indeed had on a lovely lacy black bra under his shirt.  With the comment "Yes, I love to wear a bra but would like a shirt like your where people could see it through my shirt as well!!!!"

He was no Daniel Craig but this was the only image I could use without vomiting!!!

Yes, this really did happen. I am not quite sure of the look on my face at this stage, as he then continued to unbutton the shirt and touch and feel around his bra - showing me how beautiful it was.

After telling him that he did have on a lovely bra and that I must be on my way, jumped in the car, locked the doors, didn't bother looking in rear view mirror and drove off at the speed of lightning!!!

Only to look in the mirror from a safe distance to see he had now unbuttoned all buttons with his shirt flapping in the wind and a black lacy bra holding his non existent mammaries with all his greying chest hair falling out.


Of course, the worst thing - his bra was so much nicer than mine!!!!!



Lisa xox

Wednesday, 11 January 2012

Summer Lovin'

A sunny day....

Blue cloudless skies that seem to go on forever..............

Yes, this really is a cloudless sky, really!!!

The sun beating down on the body beautiful.............................

I'm not tool old for a bikini swim cap am I???

Bronzed bodies laying on beach towels reading their Christmas present books received...........

The sound of children laughing as they run in and out of the waves...................................................

And then........

A faceful of bloody sand from some complete idiot who has no idea of how to walk in thongs on the beach and how you do not need to walk 1/2 cm away from my towels with your slip ons flicking sand up all over the place whilst screaming out to your bruvver, cuz, kid, or some other erstwhile mate who is proceeding to throw a football at you but you miss because you catch about as well as a one armed blind man walking with crutches and the football lands on my bag knocking over the bottle of water I had to buy for $3500 at the servo because we forgot to bring drinks with us.
Remember, slip (on a hat), slop (on some suncreen) and slap the bugger who kicked sand in your face

Ah, love summer holidays!!! (Also known as our day at the beach on the weekend)


Lisa x0x

Tuesday, 10 January 2012

Am I Too Old For A Gap Year???

Back in the day when I finished school, gap years weren't a big thing. If you were going to work after you had finished the dreaded Higher School Certificate, then you went and got a job.

If you were going on to Uni, well, that's what you did. You went on to uni because if you had a break from study, you may not go back!!!!!!!

But, I love the idea of a gap year - I wonder if I am too old for one now???????

I think the whole idea of taking a year off and going to another place - either country or in to outback Australia is a great year.

I have had one niece and one nephew already do this and they both had a ball. Of course, they caught the travel bug which is great so that niece is currently somewhere in Uganda, Ethiopia, Kenya - depends on what day it is.

And my nephew is heading over to the US in a few months to teach water skiing at a Summer Camp (is that really a job - come on!!!!)

So good luck to them I say. And then today my youngest nephew is heading over to the UK to start his gap year in a very posh school not too far from London. How cool is that!!!

I am already encouraging Horse Girl and the Senior Sergeant to think about such a thing. Of course, the Senior Sergeant wanted to know if he could have a gap year in 2013 before he started high school, but the reply had something to do with flying pigs!!!

Horse Girl is at this stage keen to do something with horses - well now, there's a surprise!!!  How great to have so many options ahead of you - she is thinking of being a jillaroo in the Outback for a few months.

And, the Senior Sergeant, well he is planning to travel around Australia in his purpose built caravan - although I am not sure that this is technically a gap year or rather just a never ending holiday. He just needs to sort out his funding - minor issue!!! Oh, and he also wants Hamish and Andy to come along too, as he is forever singing that stupid jingle from their gap year show.

So, to young Mitch, we hope you have a wonderful year full of exciting adventures and love every minute of it! God speed.


Lisa  x0x

p.s. Am open to any funding resources available for me to have my own gap year/month/week/day!!!