Thursday, 14 June 2012

Toorak Tractor

SO yesterday I wrote about our gorgeous new house and yard!
Loving it!

Except for this....

and this

and this...


I get home to find two cars at the entrance to our place. You have to drive down a driveway till you get to our gate then after tying Charlie the wonder dog up, open the gate and drive through the drive to round the back of the house.

So, I get home and start to drive down the driveway.

Hmmm, why is there a white ute in my driveway and the gate and why in god's name is there a massive big Range Rover BOGGED in the grass beside my driveway????

I get out of the car and ask the obvious - 'What the #!^!$@#&  are you doing?"

Reply from the Toorak Tractor driver - "I'm bogged"

No shit sherlock!!!!!  "What are you dong here?" I question again

"Oh, I was expecting a parcel."

Now I know I wrote about my man cave off my bedroom but I certainly don't remember one actually being in there and certainly not this doofus.

"Sorry, um, you don't live here" I tell him.

"I used to" comes the reply.

"Well mate, you haven't lived here for at least a month and you don't have the right to firstly come into my place and snoop around looking for a 'parcel' and then to be too f*****g lazy to back up the driveway instead you stupidly drove your overpriced car on to the grass area which is FLOODED and then got stuck so you revved the shit out of the car and now have sunk your fancy schmancy wheels in about 2 metres into the grass at my gate!"

His reply - "um, ah, oh, um, ah yeah!"

And then - "Geez your dog barks a lot"

If only he was a guard dog instead of a chatty friendly yappy dog!


Lisa xoxo

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