Sunday, 31 March 2013

For Alix

Last night I was talking, well facebooking messaging, with a dear friend from Sydney. They know who they are :-)

We met when Horse Girl and her eldest became best mates at preschool - many many moons ago.

I won't bore you with the mindless ramblings (oh, well, sorry, too late, that's basically why I write this insane nonsense) but she said something to me which has stuck with me through the last of the bottle of red wine and through a fairly restless night.

We were talking about someone else we know, me not as well, who is yet another person fighting the dreaded cancer. She is a Mum of three beautiful children, and like everyone who gets this dreaded disease, does not deserve it. However, like so many, she is battling on and inspiring many.

And yet, my dear friend put me in the same category as this Mum. My friend said that both of us were inspirations to her.

Not feeling on top of the world last night, I, of course, burst into tears!!!! I am not an inspiration to anyone - in fact far from it.  But thank you anyway, dear S, for listening to the mindless rambling.

This post is yet another self indulgent one - you are excused by just clicking the back button to revert back to FB and find something else much more exciting.

Life is tough - no doubt about it. Everyone goes through crap, and I guess we deal with it the best way we can.

We are too quick to judge others, without really knowing wtf is going on.

And we all deal with what we are given in different ways.  Yeah, maybe sometimes a glass or two of red can help, or maybe  a kind message just to let someone know you are thinking of them.
Sometimes a phone call, sometimes a song, who knows.

As many of you know, one of my current jobs is involved in fund raising for cancer research.  There aren't too many people that haven't been touched by this dreaded disease, in one way or another.

But this is to tell you about a young girl who is suffering this weekend.  This young girl spoke recently at one of the Relays for Life that I worked on.  She was very very nervous, and scared, and wanted to pull out.

I spoke with her and told her whatever she wanted was fine. We shared some stories, then she told me she wanted to go on stage and tell her story, if I went up with her, and held her hand, and promised to keep reading her speech if she faltered.

So up we went. She was shaking, and trying to breathe deeply. I stood there, inspired by her incredible strength and class.

You see, she was talking about her Dad, who was standing right in front of her, below the stage. He had suffered a form of cancer for the past 10 years.  He had managed to get out of bed, and come down not only to hear his beautiful daughter, and being supported by his lovely wife and gorgeous son, but he was going to walk some laps for the Relay.

Which he did.

This young girl got through most of her speech.

And we held hands so tightly that I think we both cut off each others circulation.

She cried, and so did I.

I finished for her as it just got too much and I was extremely worried about her.

Her Dad, as were the rest of her family, and indeed the whole crowd, were so proud of her.

Today, this young girl, her brother and her Mum, are mourning their loss.  Her Dad, who fought and fought, has passed away. I hope he is out of pain now.

No words can possibly help this young girl at the moment. She is hurting so badly, and nothing can take that pain away.


I know she will somehow be able to get through this but it is not for me to tell her that now.  I have spoken to her and she cried. As she should.

People are hurting every day everywhere.   Because of illness, loss, or many other reasons.

And people cope in different ways.  The best way they can. Sometimes the coping mechanisms people choose may not be what we might consider to be the 'right' or 'correct' ones. But who are we to make that decision.

But maybe, just maybe, one day they can learn to smile again, and the pain, probably won't ever fully leave, but will dull ever so slightly.

So, my dear S, I am not an inspiration, but the timing of your words was impeccable.

Sometimes, we are quick too hurt with words - but more so, we can help!

So this one's for Alix


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